#Ancient History Guy

[its-not-a-pen]

first day as a small-town sherif and you discover that some of the convicts you're transporting managed to escape in the night and since the penalty for letting prisoners escape is death, and the penalty for being late because you were looking for escaped prisoners is also death, you decide to free ALL of them and go hide out in the wilderness for a bit, except the convicts are super grateful so they make you their leader and it turns out they're decent guys who were exploited by a tyrannical government, so long story short you're crowd-sourcing for a peasant uprising and would anyone like to chip in?

3650th day and due to a series of unforeseen events you are now the emperor and founder of the han dynasty.

[ninjautizm]

Sum more garsako doodles!!

[charlesoberonn]

[thatlonelycactus]

We’ve all heard that thing about how the first sign of civilization was a broken leg but I just need to go on about something real quick.

Can we take a moment to talk about the golden ibex from Akrotiri???

For background archaeologists found this golden ibex in the ruins of Akrotiri on modern Santorini:

And like it’s cool and all but the thing about this statue that makes me go mad is ibex aren’t native to Santorini. This has made archaeologists think that it was either used for religious reasons or it was a gift (I like to think the latter and so that’s what I’m gonna be talking about)

This statue was found hidden in a little box stored for safe keeping.

There are basically no human remains in Akrotiri. Wanna know why?

They all ran away. They all tried to escape. Why?

Because the island was about to experience one of the biggest volcanic eruptions of the Ancient world so everyone took what they needed and left.

They all left and hoped that they’d come back.

And in my mind someone was given this ibex as a gift and maybe they treasured it. Then they had to leave so they placed it in a box where they thought it would be safe.

Then they left and never came back.

Someone tried so hard to keep this ibex safe maybe because they had to or maybe because they treasured it for whatever reason. Someone out there, someone lost to time, said goodbye and hoped they would see this statute again.

I like to think the golden ibex meant something to someone whether it’s because the thought restores my faith in humanity now or because it means that, at our cores, we’ve never truly changed. And frankly I just wish that whoever hid that ibex all those centuries ago would know that even though they themselves are forgotten they achieved their goal. They did it and the ibex that they might have loved is still loved by people today (aka me).

[apollo18]

Concept: the justice league finds out that Blaze and Satanus, the rulers of hell, are kids of their ‘even more of a boy scout than Superman’ coworker’s “boss” and think Shazam is the Christian God. They ask Billy really vague questions that lead Billy into confusing them even more and they become convinced that Marvel’s Wizard guy is God with a capital G and Marvel’s either an angel or the second coming of Jesus.

Meanwhile Shazam doesn’t even know what the Bible is and his knowledge about religion is so outdated he still thinks Solomon’s Judaism is new age and not worth his time to research such a ‘fad’ religion, but he knows humans will make a religion out of anything as well as bastardize existing ones and very well could have mixed up actual tales that involve him, his allies, and his children into some sort of melting pot of a religion.

So when someone finally asks Marvel outright if his “boss” is God, Billy goes ‘wait… old guy in white robes and sandals, with long white hair and a beard… lives in space… aka the “heavens”, whose a ghost(Holy Spirit), and knows everything(historama)??? I need to dig deeper into this hold on guys’ and goes off to ask the wizard.

So when Billy asks the Wizard he just tells Billy “well, my boy, if so many things match up, maybe it is so and the tales of myself and my champions grew so estranged from their origins or mixed in with other beliefs that it can explain the things that aren’t true to our reality.”

Then The Canonical Character To The DC Universe, Jesus of Nazareth, shows up.

[sombertide-0]

Dinovember day 3! Pikaia! One of the first animals to have a spine, which means yes, you might be looking at a distant relative >:3

We all came from slug

[ganondoodle]

kind of expected that the ability breakdown wouldnt get that much traction (especially on twitter bc if it doesnt do well in the first few hours it might as well be dead) but what i didnt need to wake up to was looking at my twitter notifications and thinking there was a long comment on it at first but then i read it and it turned out to be some guy having dug up one of my old totk tweets where i talked about how zelda was treated-

and if a quote retweet with a thread attached already starts with "this entitled brat didnt understand that zelda was being a history nerd by being in the past and getting to experience it herself" with two screenshots attached of the end of totk with zelda staring at the cam all uwu (which has ??? to do with their point??) i dont even want to know what else was in that thread

if thats how the majority of the fandom is then im even less surprised that nintendy doesnt even have to try to write anything good :I

ah yes, i am a game nerd, and by putting me in a game where i stand around doing puppy dog eyes while being shoved around by NPCs is me being a game nerd OBVIOSULY

[hephaestn]

Ancient Empires — Episode 1: Alexander the Great

[nerocoin]

my redraw of this ancient roman gem with a grasshopper playing the lyre carved onto it

photo credit

[uncleclaudius]

Fragment of Ravenna Relief showing a scene of the Julio-Claudian family. On the right, we can see Augustus as Mars accompanied by his wife Livia in the guise of Venus. The identity of the male figures on the left is uncertain but Germanicus and his father Drusus are the most common suggestions.

[alexjcrowley]

Guys is this a safe space to say that Demosthenes and Philip II should have fucked nasty

[snailpaste]

NOTE: entries in brackets are examples of languages within the category, some based on the UNESCO Atlas of the World's Languages in Danger

Edit: Cornish was reclassified from extinct to critically endangered in 2009 due to revival

[francarieq]

3 major river valley civilizations in Asia. Namely: Mesopotamia (Modern day Iraq), Ancient Chinese Civilization and Indus Valley Civilization (Modern day Pakistan and parts of India). 𓆝𓆟 ꩜.ᐟ

Asia is home to three (3) of four (4) major river valley civilizations in the world.

*Mesopotamia - along the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers; lies in the fertile cresent.

*Ancient Chinese Civilization - along the Huang Ho (Yellow River) and Yangtze (Chiang Jiang) Rivers.

*Indus Valley Civilization - along the Indus River.

[eggirrum]

I swear that something absolutely radical is soon gonna be finished, but I keep getting sidetracked and art blocked.

So while fighting my lactose intolerance today and eating a whole can of corn, have medjed.

Thank you to @pricklypinefawn for that one idea in the top right corner.

[doobydoobydoowau]

getting into classics as a kid because you read percy jackson <<< getting into classics as a kid bc you wanted to know why the FUCK the president of the capitol had such a weird name

[minty-mumbles]

Literally frothing at the mouth rn wishing there were more fics about cultural differences between the LU boys